four years ago tomorrow

At exactly 3:23am four years ago tomorrow David was born…he wasn’t in a hurry to enter the world, who would be Bush and Blair had entered into a war with Iraq and we were in the midst of one of the hottest summer’s since records began.  He was 11 days late and I had to be induced and then I started bleeding (a very bad thing) and then it all went tits up…I’m told he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck but I was so far gone with diamorphine that I had no idea what was going on other than that my little boy wasn’t crying and was lying on a table at the other side of the room being resussitated.

The drama surrounding his entrance into the world and the fact that I didn’t really understand what had gone wrong and the fact that I wasn’t a ‘perfect’ parent led me to suffer from PND (post natal depression) for the next couple of years.  I couldn’t love my son for almost a year after his birth although I did try very hard to.  It seems very silly to me now but I felt somehow responsible for his troubled birth and subsequent inability to lie on his back due to his sore head which was caused by being vacuumed out of me at high speed…maybe I shouldn’t have asked for all those drugs?

Of course, now I love him all the way to the moon and back which as anybody who has read “How Much do you Love me?” will know is as far as you can love anybody.  He has his moments but doesn’t every three year old?  I am promised that he will turn into a perfect human being the day he turns four just the same as he became possessed by the son of satan the day he turned three…I won’t hold my breath!

Last year we were in a very bad place indeed.  We were still living next door to the neighbours from hell and creeping about on eggshells in our own home.  Iona was all of a month and a half old and was keeping us all up at night.  David’s birthday was a bit of a washout due to the lack of sleep all round.  This past year I have been so very proud of the way in which David has adapted to having a sister around.  He has taken it upon himself to be her eternal guardian which is sometimes sweet and sometimes downright dangerous…the great thing about it though is the overwhelming outpouring of love he has demonstrated towards her.

He starts nursery school next month and this is a big deal for us because he is very ready to leave the busom of his father and mix with other kids.  Every day it is more apparent that whatever we do to try and entertain him he is still bored and hungry for more knowledge…and food.  It seems that he has an unnerving ability to consume the contents of the fridge in one sitting and still ask for more.  He spends all day asking question after question which is no bad thing really but honestly his father and I just don’t know why, what, how, where, and when for every conceivable item on this earth.  I hope his nursery school teachers know a lot more about everyday objects than we do otherwise they will have a tricky time with him.

For the past two years we have visited the zoo for his birthday which he loves but this year a combination of bad weather and the dogsitting we have agreed to do for Alasdair’s sister means that we’ll be staying at home and we have promised to have his birthday outing another day, a situation he has accepted with an overwhelming degree of maturity.  Instead, tomorrow he will be making his birthday cake and we will be trying desperately to entertain him although his new presents should help somewhat…honestly our TV has taken on the guise of a christmas tree with all the presents that are under it.

So, happy birthday son.  It’s been a tough old year but one which was full of changes that have hopefully made your life a bit more bearable.